Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil
by beenieweenie
Summary: Entire story up. Plus explanation. At least read the explanation. Also read the story. It's got all your favorite characters plus some new ones. You'll love it. Read and review please, or just hatefully flame...I don't care.
1. Default Chapter

Okay, so if you haven't already read the first chapter, or anything concerning this story at all, this was all sparked from an idea I had to write the worst fanfic I could possibly write.  Every single canon character was as uncanon as I could make them and then there was the huge Mary Sue called Mitzreil who was running around, destroying the storyline as well.  Not to mention the terrible grammar, horrible spelling and creation of multiple mini-balrogs.  But the point of this story was to write something terrible and I think I've achieved it admirably.  Of course there are several people I must thank because without them this story would never have happened:  first, Camilla Sandman () creator of OFUM, I got the Aragorn/Sauron Britney Spears songfic idea from the first story about OFUM, and I'd also like to thank the entire PPC, you provided some examples of the worst fanfics and the worst qualities of bad fanfics for me to take a lead from.  Of course, at this point I'm bound by my honor as a writer to apologize for all the mini-balrogs that are now running around.  For the sake of keeping it easy for Miss Cam to find and train them I'm going to keep a list here (in alphabetical order by actual character name):

  


Aeragorn

Aragon

Aragran

Aragron

Arangorn

Arargorn

Argorn

Arngorn

Aroagorn

Arogran 

Arogorn

Arongron

Arewen

Birimir

Boirmir

Boirimir

Borimir

Borimor 

Borirmir

Boroimir

Borromir 

Elornd

Elrnd 

Elrnod 

Elron

Elrund 

Erlond

Frodu

Galadrel

Galadrial

Galardiel

Galardril 

Galarel

Galariel 

Galladrial 

Galradiel 

Gadalf

Gadnalf

Ganald

Gandaf

Gandalph

Gandlad

Gandlaf 

Gandolf

Ganlaf

Ganldaf

Gilme

Gilmi 

Gilmy

Gimly

Glilmy

Glimy

Gollom 

Golum 

Gullum 

Legalas 

Legalis

Leggials

Leggilas

Legilaas

Legilas

Legillos 

Legilos

Legilus 

Legiolass

Legolass

Legolis

Legols 

Mary

Pipim

Saorun 

Saouron 

Saron

Saroun

Sauorn

Soarn

Soaron

Soauern

sOron

Sorun

Souran

Souron

Suaron

Smeagal 

Smeegal 

Smeegol

Valra

Other misspellings, although I'm not sure they're mini-balrogs:

Blarog

Blarong

Barlog

Darwf

Felowship

Felowsihp

Felowsip

Feollwship

Hobbites

Hobits

Monria

Morador

Morrdoor

Orks

Palantire

Plantire

Rivnedell

Wow…you know it takes a lot of invention to misspell the same set of names so many times in just one story.  But I guess it's really not something to be proud of…sorry Miss Cam.  Also, I know that a great many of these mini-balrogs and the other misspellings have already happened, but I felt the need to document them so that it was known just how terrible this story was that it used so many.  In retrospection I also need to thank my "gyrlz":  Jan(who is really me, hehe), Cait(lin), Ally(Allison), Krissy(Krista, and I hope she doesn't kill me for calling her "Krissy"), and (Re)Becca.  Thanks ladies!  Now I understand that I could never address all the terrible things I did to this story, but here's a list of the worst crimes I committed:

            --Creating a Mary Sue

            --Hooking up Aragorn and Sauron

            --Insinuation that the relationship between hobbits was not strictly platonic

            --Disruption of canon

            --Inserting knowledge of the future in Middle Earth (in the form of TNT)

            --Inserting songs from the future in Middle Earth

            --Spawning of multiple (meaning lots and lots) of mini-balrogs

            --Ignoring the basic rules of grammar and punctuation and spelling

--Writing a story that can only be mocked and laughed at.  

Except that I don't think this last one was really that big a "crime".  I like to think of this story as an instructional guide of things to avoid when writing a LOTR fanfic.  Here there comes a tie with how I categorize my story.  A lot of reviews have asked if it really belongs under parody, and I considered putting it there when I was finished, but that just wouldn't be right.  The misadventures of Mitzreil need to be taken at least a little seriously, after all, they show what happens when fanfiction goes terribly, terribly wrong and if all the examples of that are under parody, where's the warning?  I'd also like to say that where I do have a pen name where I post things that are good (or at least no where near as bad as this) you will never ever (evar) see me admit that it is in anyway related to this pen name.

As a final note I'd like to say that I wrote this explanation as a response to several reviews I got around the time I posted chapter five of the story (though I was going to write an explanation anyway).  In regards to these reviews I'd like to express that I would like to see the PPC enact a policy of politely asking authors to take down terrible posts while listing the crimes of the author extensively and fully before bitching them out(I seriously considered discontinuing the story, but decided that would have proved Agent Caine of the PPC the winner and that it would have made me look like a coward) and secondly, try reading beyond chapter one, seriously, the farther you go the more there is to laugh at and to bitch about.  This really is the most fun I've ever had while writing a story just because the writing style is nothing like my own and it's so much fun to read the reviews (except when they're uber-uber-mean), but anyway thank you,

"gyrl4leggieborimir"

Appendix 1:  Here I need to give utter and total props to Camilla Sandman (see above for fanfic site).  I honestly loved your stories about OFUM and MUSM, but I don't think I ever truly grasped how huge your audience was.  You have made a huge impact on the fanfiction community.  OFUM definitely served at least some of its purpose and people are able to spot a terrible fic and call it out when they see it.  I can't tell you how many people have mentioned all the mini-balrogs in their reviews.  It simply amazes me and at the same time I feel bad that the only way that I'm connected to your legacy is through this terrible fic.  Thank you once again.

Appendix 2:  This is a general disclaimer for the entire story.  Obviously it doesn't belong within the story itself, so I'll put it here.  Nothing, NOTHING, in Middle Earth even remotely belongs to me, not the tiniest pebble or blade of grass, it all belongs to J.R.R. Tolkien or his estate or whatever.  The only original thing in this story is the Mary Sue and bit characters that I added and they aren't worth claiming ownership to.  May Tolkien forgive me for this travesty of a story.  Also, I don't own any of the song lyrics that are in chapters 2, 6 and 13, they belong to the people who wrote them and not me.  I like music and so I did my best to incorporate it into the story, even if it didn't really belong there…at least it wasn't Enya though!

Appendix 3:  I need to apologize for the plothole in chapters 6, 7, and 8 where the gremlins apparently took the place of the goblins in Moria.  Not that I'm trying to justify it…but if you think about gremlins and goblins kinda look the same.  So anyway, I'm very, very sorry about that.  The whole thing happened during a sort of brain fart when I was thinking goblins and for some reason typed gremlins and when I saw what I'd done I decided it was too perfect to change it.  Anyway, sorry again.

Appendix 4:  I'd like to take some time to address the reviews that I've gotten.  Obviously the only good ones were where I called my friends and told them to review it and to review it positively.  Sorry "gyrlz".  So most of the reviews were flames or gentle calls to fix the story and repost it under parody.  To everyone who asked that I edit the story and repost it as parody:  Thank you so much!  I realize that what you said wasn't necessarily nice, but it was hardly ever mean.  You seemed to genuinely feel terrible that someone who obviously had no talent was getting ripped for that very reason and yet you didn't say anything too terribly rude.  It was you all who reaffirmed in my mind the fact that there are some genuinely nice people out there.  Next, to all of you who flamed:  I don't care.  And now to all of you who were just plain rude:  I'll admit it hurt the first time I got a review that had curse words in it and I was targeted and called names, I almost discontinued the story.  Instead I came back with a vengeance though and decided to finish the saga of Mitzreil.  You people aren't particularly nice and I think you need to take time to think about what you say in your reviews.  It hurt my feeling to have such things said to me and I didn't even really care…imagine what someone who is writing a story seriously will feel like.  You may think their story isn't worthy of being shat on by all the Uruk-Hai in existence, but that doesn't mean that they don't take pride in their accomplishment.  It's better to give constructive criticism, point out where a weakness may lie, or something that they can do to make the story better.  Be polite and reassuring and tell them that even though the story may not rock, they as a writer don't suck.  I think it's time that as a community of fanfic writers we take the time to help those in our ranks who aren't as skilled in their storytelling abilities.  A review doesn't have to be nice, but it shouldn't be cruel either.

Appendix 5:  I recant all statements made about not posting this under my real pen name, and I also ask that whoever keeps reporting this story for it's "abuses" to get over themselves.  It isn't your job, even if you are with the PPC, to decide which stories can remain up and which should come down, unless you've decided that it is important that the PPC become the next Hitler.  Censoring is not a cool thing, no matter what you're trying to protect, it only leads to hate and misunderstanding, so stop censoring!!


	2. Chapy 1 Cool Chick Mitzreil

omg!!!!!!!!!!!111  im so HAPPy to finaly get too write a story with hott hott hottt Legilas!!!!!  and aragorn and borimir….just r&r plz!  i now u luv it!

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 1

            Mitzreil was walking in the forest at Rivendell felling sad bcuz her father Elrond wouldn't let her go on the felowship even though she was a gooder fighter and could even beat Aragorn and her stupid half sister Arwen in fighting.  Mitzreil had been trying to convince her mother Galadrel to help her, but her mother didn't like her so much bcuz Mitzreil was soo soo much hotter than Galadrial.  So Mitzreil sat in the forest and thought about her man Legilas and all the truble he would be in and she knows she has to help him.  So Mitzreil got up and ran to the cowncil.

            There Ganlaf was talking about some ring that could control them and Mitzreil ran in and said, "Im going and u can't stop me dady, bcuz I luv Legie and I won't leave him alone!!!!"(A/N:  Who wood leave him?  He's sooooo hott!)

            Then Aragran got up and said, "She's a good fighter…even better than your other dauter Arewen, Elrond!"  And elrond nodded and knows that Mitzreil is the only hope for the felowship to win.  So he nods and said, "Mitzriel shuld go."

            But all gandolf wanted to takl about that dumb ring on the stand in the midle of the circle.  And this grungy, dirty little hobbit wanted to destroy the ring, but Mitzreil nocked him away and said, "this ring is nothing"  and she puts it on and nothing is happening, so she said, "The fellowship can kill sauron!  But i'll keep this ring safe."

            And so the cowncil decided that Mitzreil was right and wnet away for the night.

So U like it right?  U think it's gr8?  revew and i'll be happy, but flames only make me toasty with my men, legilas and borimir!


	3. Chapy 2 Aragorn 3 Sauron 4evar

im back with mor and beter stuff!  U'll see y aragorn never realy wanted that slut arewen too!  She's just a be-otch anyway.  Plz r&r wen ur dune!

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 2

            After council Aragron looks around and then sneaked off to see his most favest person evar!  Saron!  It only takes a few minites to go from Rivendell to Sauron's house at morrdoor anyways.  So Aragorn goes to talk to his man Saron bcuz the fellowhip is out to git him and arargorn dosn't want that.  So he is sneeking thru the window to Saron's bedroom.  Then Saron sees him and their, like totaly making out and everything but aragron stops and is saying, "Baby!  Their gonna kill u!  I can't stop them!"

            And sauron kisses Aeragorn bcuz he thinks the warning is sweet and so they made out even more and the clothes wer mostli off bye the time Aragorn stops agains and is tell sOron, "No hunny!  They wants to make you good and ded!  Baby you gota run! I lurve u 2 much 2 loose u!"  So Saron goes, "stop telling me what 2 do!  I now you can stop them…now gimme a show baby!"

            and then arogorn smiles like a fox(A/N:  u now he totaly is!!!!!!!!1  but not as hott as my man leggie tho!) and so he is dancing and singin just for his man like a babe:

"Baby, don't you wanna, dance upon me,  
(Are you ready)  
Leaving behind my name, my age.  
(Lets go)  
I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.  
I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it.  
Get it get it, get it get it   
Get it get it, get it get it   
Get it get it, get it get it"

            but bye then sauron dances with arongron and is totally moaning and soon they isn't dancing or singing…but still moaning though!(A/N:  stop crying!  u now its the truth!)  latter that night though while his baby is sleepin aragorn is pulling on his cloths again.  He is kissing his man one last time b4 sneeking back 2 rivendell.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!1111  This chapy is soooooo gr8 and u now u wanna revue!  More later and smiles with my men leggie and borry!


	4. Chapy 3 Maters of the Hart

ok, so now that ur all happy aboot the last chapy im gonna make you even happyer!  this chapy is for my girl, jan!

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 3

            Mitzreil nose about Aragron sneeking off, but she can't worry ovr it bcuz she and her man Legilas(A/N:  told u u'd luv it! what a hottie!!!!!!!!1) were gonna have diner 2gether and be all romantic with themselves bcuz they new tru lurve and everyone was jellus of them!  So they went for a walk in the forrest, and while they were their legilas got on his knees and pulled outa box.  Mitzreil squealled and legolas said, "baby, I love u so much u can't now.  If u marry me i'll luv u as long as we live which is 4evar bcuz were elfs."  but mitzriel starts crying not happy tears and is now running form her man bcuz she needs her dady's help.

            Elrond was buzy with Galadrel(A/N:  hehe, u now what i meen!) when Mitzreil runned up.  But elrond loves his dauter, he sometimes forgets about that beee-otch Arwen and is abl to pretend he only had one dauter.  So Erlond leaves Galarel wanting more and says, "what's rong sweety?"  and Mitzreil is crying and said "my baby leggie asked me to be his…but i now the future like u dady and I now he'll dye soon and leve me dady!"  Elron was sad that his baby dauter was so sad and he couldn't relly help so he says, "if u marry him tho at lest u git some time 2gether rite?" and mitzreil is nodding and wipes away her tears while she finds her man.  But nether of them notice galadrel doing a spell in her magic puddle(A/N:  that thing was a puddle or sumthin…i cant remember…hehe).  She is angry bcuz her own dauter is hotter than she is bye 3 times and is a better fighter than evan Aragorn or borimir and is just gr8 and also that her hubby elornd cares about his dumb dauter mor than about his freakin wife!  So bye useing her magic puddle she put a spell on pore leggie so that he woodn't luv Mitzreil and so that he wood dye over the course of the trip with the felowship.  Then she laffed and went to sleep.

            Mitzreil was looking everywere for her baby Leggie, when she ran into the super stud muffn himself, Borirmir who said, "pleeze, most gorjuss elf woman evar, give me a minite of ur time!"  and Mitzreil thawt that Borimir might now where her man was, not to mention he wuz ezy on the eys(A/N:  am i rite?  i said, am i rite?  lol) so she is saying, "speek ur peace borimir."  

and he says back, "pleeze o beee-u-te-ful- Mitzeil, have pity on a a mortal guy and be my girl."  

But he didn't evan finnish b4 Mitzeil wuz running off in search of her real man, Legilas.  Mitzeil serched for a long long long long time…but she culdn't find her man anywhere, so she decided to chek his room one last time and then go cry herself to sleep.  But her man was in her room and she hugged for a long time(A/N: hehe) and says, "baby i will be your wife!"  but Legolass looked at her and said, "are you kraze?!?!?!?!  I don't evan now u!  why wuld I want to marry u?"  and then Mitzeil starts crying loudly and runs into the forrest where she wants to throw herself into a river and dye But the hottie borimir heers her and goes to see what wrong and she hugs him for a long time too(A/N: hehehe) and then they were making out like pros and Mitzeil almost is forgetting her true luv Leggilas except that she doesn't care bcuz he broke her hart and she only is wanting to feel happy with Borimir and so they do feel happy for a long time that night(A/N: hehehehe).

wow, that's the longest chapy yet.  i gotta take a brake bcuz my brian hurts alot.  Seeya later grylz!


	5. Chapy 4 A big Fite

Omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i totaly just got 9 reviews!!!!!!!!11  i cant beleve it!  This is totaly for every1 who revewed!!!

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 4

            So it was the next day and Mitzreil looked totaly hott, even tho she was sooo bizy the nite b4 and every1 was geting reddy to go on the hunt for sauron, who was relly hard to find but it didn't mater bcuz Mitzreil was a gud traker but she was only a little angry bcuz there were a bunch of grungy dirty hobbits crawling arond and they were totaly gross doing things no1 shuld do evar and they wuldn't be abl to keep up with the rest of the ppl who were normle size and culd go faster.  of corse they hadn't been gone long when all the nasty hobbits(A/N:  U now their just grody.  admit it!) starts whining about food and bein tired so Mitzreil marched up 2 them from teh front and said, "U ned to shut up you nasty little hobits!  u'll git the orcs on us!"

             but it was 2 late and Aragorn is running to protect the hobbits from all the orks while Mitzreil was resling with a big old troll and all the others tryed 2 help too.  But it was no good bcuz 2 of the nasty hobits got skished, it was frodu and pipim and so the other 2 hobbites were totaly sad and Mitzreil fet sorta bad bcuz she'd been kinda, sorta meen to them rite b4 they were made ded, so she told mary and sam, "Sumtimes ppl dye and its relly sad but u have to keep going or else mor orks will come."  so the felowship is going on and every1 who is still living is tending their hurts, except Mitzreil bcuz she killed that troll better than it was thot.

            after a while gimly the dwarf came up to Mitzreil and was saying, "if we will be going thru moria then we can totaly git 2 SarON fastr."  and of corse Mitzreil new that the darwf was wise and totaly rite so she said, "ok fellowship, we're gonna go to moria bcuz its faster!" but all gandalph wood say was, "no!  moria equals bad!  We cant go ther!"

            so they had a vote and every1 new that gandalf was a fake and so they voted like  mitzreil, every1 except the dirty hobits that is.  And so to Moria they wetn.

this is the end of chapy 4!  i can't beleve I got so many revews…drop me a line at gyrlz@2die4.com and ill put u on a list to mail when i updat  YAY!!!!!!!!!!111


	6. Chapy 5 Going to MOria

Hey!  Im back!!!!!!!!!!1  And i have so much mor and better stuff two!  It's got new ppl now!  BTW, this chapy is for BECCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 5

            So the felowship was on its way 2 Moria, this tunel thru these big mountains called the Big Mountains.  It was fastr going 2 bcuz 2 of the narsty little grundge-bag hobits were ded and Aragorn and Ganald are carying teh other 2.  So with Mitzreil in the front they were almost at these doors that were magicaly locked.  there was this gross lake there 2 and every1 didn't wanna toch it bcuz the water was grody.  And wen they are getting next to the door Gandalf tries to read them, but Mitzreil is pushin past him with her pack.  next she was pulling out this great stuff she made a few days ago in her dady's lab she called it TNT and said, "we'll blow our way in with this…it makes a loud bang so plug up ur ears!" and then she was lighting thefuse and doging out of the way.

            Legolas, Boromir, Gimly and Aragron were pluging up there ears, and mary was crying bcuz Agagron had droped him on the grond.  Gadnalf was still yelling about the door wen the TNT went off and made this relly loud bang and rocks was flying everywere.  Gandlaf was ok, because sam's nasty hobbit body was protecting his head, but sam was dedder than anything.  Mitzreil tossed his body in the lake and then they are starting into the tunnel that MOria is.

            they hadnt gone vury far when they heerd a fite in the distanse.  with her elfish heering Mitzreil new it was her friends.  she looked at the felowship and said, "Hury! These are my frinds!  We can save them!" so the felowship started running up the tunnel looking for Mitzreil's friends.

Oooooooooooo!  a cliffy thingie!  I read about them and thot to tri 1!  R&R cuz u now u luv it


	7. Chapy 6 Musical Interlude

Hi gyrlz!  Sry its been so long sinse my last updat, but i wuz relly relly bizy and then fanfiction crashed or sumthin.  here's the next chapy and its for Cait!

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 6

            Teh felowsihp sped thru the tunnel of moria and soon they saw Mitzreil's frends, but they wer ok bcuz they had fited off all the gremlins in moria.  Mitzreil was super happy her frends were ok and she looked at the fellowship and says, "hey bois, thesse r my frends, Thrandulise and Alice."  Thrandulise was a beutiful elf-chick who wuz all most as good as Mitzreil, but not and she wuz Legalis's sis and Alice was a ranger who wuz relly cool evan tho she wuz a human.

            "So wot's up?" Thrandulise is asking and Mitzreil says, "Were gonna kill Saroun an i got this mega-cool ring!"  Aragon wuz sad evry time he heerd Mitzreil say things about his man, but he culdn't do nething bcuz she wuz in charge.  but Gandaf wuz totaly hiting on pore Alice and she keeped trying to get away, but he wuz just follow follow follow evrywhere she wetn.  After sum talking Mitzreil's frends decided to go along w/the feollwship and so the groop of 9 set off down the tunnel of moria.  of corse, like the idiot he wuz, Gandalf kept trying to play "I spy" evan tho it was totaly dark and stuff, so to make him shut up Mitzreil, Thrandulise and Alice sings the Dixie Chicks song Landslide an they totaly sownded beter.

I took my love and I took it down  
Climbed a mountain and turned around  
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills  
'til the landslide brought it down  
  
Oh, mirror in the sky -What is love?  
Can the child within my heart rise above?  
Can I sail through the changin'...ocean tides  
Can I handle the seasons of my life?  
I don't know.....I don't know  
  
Well I've been afraid of changin'  
because I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder, even children get older  
And I'm getting older too....  
  
So, take my love...take it down  
Climb a mountain and turn around  
and if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills...  
well the landslide will bring it down  
The landslide will bring it down

            bye the time the song was done with the groop of travlers wuz almost gone frum monria and culd see the exit hole except ther wuz this one brige still and suddenly pownding frum behind and they truned arond an they were seeing the most sacry thing evar!  A blarog!

Ha!  anuther cliffy thinge!  it keeps u reading and reviewing!  :)


	8. Chapy 7 A Blarog

my brian relly hurts after the last chapy, but i culdn't leve u hangin!  Heres chapy 7!

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 7

            with the blarong closing up the fellowship was gonna panik but Mitzreil is shouting, "Thrandulise, Alice!  Git them ovr the brige!"  and gandlad was nodding and shouting "i will get tha balrog!"  and then Gilmy and Arngorn and Mary wuz all yelling, "no!  no!  dont git hurts Ganldaf!" and legilas wuz barfing alot in the corner and noone new that.  Mitzreil truned to Gandafl and was saying, "I can do this!  but ur help wood be nice!(A/N:  see mitzreil dosnt want all the attention, she just deserves it!)"  but the wizerd ignord her and useing his magic made her go across the brige, evan tho she kicked and screeemed she culdnt git lose.

            So then Gandalf and the balrog were fiting and throing balls of fire and Mitzreil culdn't get close bcuz her frends tried to keep her saf bye holding her back.  And soon Gandlaf was in the middul of the brige and and the balrog steps on it and it craks rite down the middul(A/N:  i did see the movie u now, im just makign it beter), but gandlaf wuznt far enuff bak, so he fell with the blarog and Mitzreil's frends let go in shook and Mitzreil saved the day by running relly relly fast to the egge of teh brige and caught gandlaf's hand b4 he wuz out of reech.  but it didnt help bcuz the balrog was grabing gadalf's feets and so Mitzreil was slipping.  Then Borirmir and Thrandulise and Alice all ran up and jumped on Miztreil's leggs so she woodnt fall and bcuz gandolf wuz a total atenshun hog she poked mitzreil's hand with a big ole sword and she had to let him go bcuz it hurt and so gandlaf fell to his deth with the barlog.

            that's wen Glimy yells, "The Gremlins!"  and it wuz tru the gremlins of Moria were bak and firing all sorts of arows and and rocks and loogies at the felowsip.  So Mitzreil was puled bak to the grond and the fellowship toke off and runned out of moria.

thats 2 relly long chapys in a day.  my brian relly hurts now and my nose is hurting bcuz im sad bcuz my bf dumped me while I wuz riting this chapy.  Reviw and make me fell beter.


	9. Chapy 8 Pore Sick Leggie

heres new stuff peeps!!!!!!!!1  my story is soo soo soo cool now and every1 luvs it!  This chapy is for Ally!!!!!!!!!111

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 8

            Evry1 but Gandalf is getting out of moria ok.  They all survived it and got out just as Moria fell down and crushes all the dumb lttle stupid gremlins.  They also pretends 2 b sad bcuz Gandalf is ded, except only mary is relly sad and is cryed  "wat abot the firework shows?"  

            soon Mitzreil starts to git evry1 up and make them git reddy for mor travling.  but wen evry1 is reddy they cant find Legilos and they all starts looking 4 him.  It takes sum time, but then Mitzreil finds him, and he's in a bad way.  Mitzreil stars at all the blood that pore Leggie threw up and then yells, "Legilas is sick!  We gotta help him."  so aragorn and Boromir runned up and pulled Legilaas to the campfire that Thrandulise and Alice had made so the grungy remaning hobit would shut up.  Evry1 looked Legilas ovr and then decided he needed hepl in a bad way.  Thrandulise, Arangorn, and Alice went off to find helpfull plants and stuff while Gimly proped up Legilas's feet and is puting a blanket on him.  Boirmir pulls Mitzreil aside and was asking, "so u r leveing me 4 him now rn't u?"  but Mitzreil shaks her hed and said, "no1 lurves me like u!  not even pore Leggie.  U r my baby now!" and then they were making out like pros again.

I have to stop ther 4 now!  I hope u luv it!  actualy I now u do, so read it and then revew like a gud fan!!!!!!!!!!!11


	10. Chapy 9 Meating the big Evil

sry its ben so long sinse my last update.  i ben bizy, and me and my gyrlz had to bash my ex.  Heres new stuff!!!!!!!!!!1

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 9

            teh  fellowship tryed vry vry hard to make pore Legolas git beter, but nothing wuz wurkin, so Mitzreil takes action and says, "It's the work of Soaron!  we hav to make him gud and ded!!!!!!!!!1"  and evry1 in the felowship agrees except Aroagorn who only is pretending to agree.  Then Mitzreil said, "ok then, Alice, mary, and Gilme will stay herre and wach ovr Legiolass and me, Thrandulise, Argorn and Birimir will go do in Soauern!"

            and that's wat they started doing.  Alice and Glilmy told mary what to do that would hopfully help Leggials while Mitzreil and her team got there horses and are riding off 2 git Souron.  When thye reched the gates of Morador Mitzreil started bangin and yellin 4 Sauron to face them like an evil lord shuld.  but evil lords r sneeky and meen so he shot off litening at Borirmir and he wood hav died, but Mitzreil saves him just in time this makes soron super mad, and he stomps down to the gate and says, "go the hell away!!!!!!!!1"  and Mitzreil yells, "Ur killing Leggie!  Stop it!!!!!"  and then they starts to fite big time.

anuther cliffy thinie 4 my fans!  Plz r&r bcuz I now u luv it soooo soooo soooo much!!!!!1  my men and me r so happy u luv it!!!  *snuggles w/leggie and borimir*


	11. Chapy 10 Fiting the big Evil

Im bak unce mor!!!!1  things is geting clos to bein dun and im sad about that!!!  But ill give u the bestest stroy of them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 10

            The big fite has lots and lots of swards and all the time Mitzreil and Sorun were yellin at teh other.  "Stop givin pore leggie hurts!!"  Mitzreil is trying to chop into Sauron's big hat thingie (A/N:  do u think hes ugly under their???)  but he's doged and saying "What r u takling about??  r u kraze?"  "I now ur tryed to make Leggie ded!!!!" Mitzreil shoks Suaron big w/that and he is droping his sward.  but b4 Mitzreil can mak him gud and ded Arangorn is jumpin in the way.

            "Move!" Mitzreil is shooting, while Aragron yells, "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11  u cant kill my man!!!!!!!11"  (A/N:  wat?  Did u think he wuz gunna let his man die???????  i don't think so!!)  then evrythin stoped and Aragorn is stuk in frunt of Soarn while Mitztreil and Thrandulise and Boirimir just starred.  then aragron saays, "thats rite.  hes my man and u cant kill him bcuz I wood now if he wuz killin pore Legolis!!!!1  and he aint!"

            then Mitzreil turned to Thrandulise and Boromir and says, "then who is??????????"

wow, these cliffy thingies r fun and ezy to rite.:)   r&r plz!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


	12. Chapy 11 Looking thru the Palantire

ther r only gunna b 1 or 2 chapys after this…but I now u'll love it just as much wen its dun!!!!!!11

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 11

            Mitzreil and Thrandulise and Boromoir and Aragron and Souran all lokked arund.  no1 new wat wuz hapened.  Nothing made a sownd 4 a sec and it wuz relly relly quite then Soaron said, "we can lokk w/my palantire!  It has told the truth always!!1"  so evry1 went into Saoron's house so they culd be seeing thru the plantire and Aragorn wuz turnin the lites off so they culd see beter.

            it toke a while to boot up bcuz Sauron wuz having a bad conekshun but soon they culd see a happy lttle puddle in the palantire.  sudenly Mitzreil gassped and says, "Thats my muthr Galardiel's magik puddle!!!!!!!!!1"

sry ths chapy is soo soo short….next 1 is a long 1.  me and my men r wating 4 ur revews!!!!!1


	13. Chapy 12 Confrunting Galadrial

Sry its been sooo long sinse my last Chapy!!!!!!!!!!1  This 1 is 4 Krissy!!!!!!!!1

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 12

            Evry1 wuz super shoked that Galardril wood wanna hurt pore Legols and it was relly relly quite 4 a second then Saouron says, "I cant beleve that bee-otch wood wanna kill ur man!!!!1"  and Mitzreil said, "well, not my man anymor…now Boroimir is my man!!!!!!!1"  and then they were making out like pros and so Sauorn wetn and starts to make out with Aragorn while Thrandulise is pulling out her digicam and filmin it all!  but after a while Thrandulise gits board and yells, "ok!  Make out time ovr!!!!!!1  we gotta save my bro!!1"  so Sauron leeds them 2 his horses and they are riding like the wind to Legilas, Alice, Gilmi and Sam.

            Unce they have evry1 they rides like the wind to Rivendell so they can fase Galladrial, no1 in Rivnedell wuz expectin them so they were a super big surprize.  But they didn't say nothing to no1, they just hunts for Galariel and finds her w/Elrund and they were a lttle bizy(A/N:  U now wat I mean!!!!!!!1 hehehehe) till Leggie barfs all over the floor and then they were not so bizy anymor, then Miztreil says, "Fix him now u witch!!!!!!!!!!!!11"

thats it 4 now.  Gotta go.  have fun and r&r bcuz u now u luv it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111


	14. Chapy 13 Many hAppy endings

hey peeps!!!!!!!!!1  sry its been soo soo soo long sinse i updated…but fanfiction rid of my story and i had to find all the chapys and it toke me sum time.  anyway…this is gunna b the last chapy and its for all my gyrlz!!!!!!!!!11

Thank Valra 4 Mitzreil

Chapy 13

            well…Galradiel new she wuz in big truble and so she starts crying and said, "im soo soo soo sry!!!!1  I just wants sum lurve too u now!!  But im so gorjuss and ur like gorjuss times 3 and I cant compete!!!!!!!11"  and of corse Mitzreil is a gr8 person and she fells totaly bad 4 her mom and so she says, "fix him & evrythin will b fine, ok??"  and Galadrial said, "Yah.  gimme a sec & i'll fix him."

            So she gos to her magik puddle and tokes off the spell and sudenly Legalas is fine and he is remembering his luv 4 Mitzreil but he also nows that shes with Borromir & he dosnt now wat 2 do till Mitzreil comes ovr w/Boromir and she wuz wearing the ring that her new man gives to her and Legilos almost crys & wuz abot 2 run into the forrest but Mitzreil is grabing his arm & drags him off to takl about there lurve triangel, unce their in privat Mitzreil says, "Lissen, i luv u Leggie…and i luv Borrie 2!  Lets just all git marryed and i'll split my time w/both of u!" (A/N:  U now wat I mean!!!  Hehehehe)  so Legilus lokked at Borimor and Borimir looks at Leggilas & then they both nod and Mitzreil is sooo sooo happy and she hugs them both 4 a long time!! (A/N:  hahahahahahahahaha!!)

            Wen the 3 of them gits back 2 the others they r just in time to be seeing Saorun and Arogran be hitched bye Elrnd.  After a happy happy happy party Mitzreil and Legillos and Borimir all tell evry1 about there plan and their wuz mor partying after Elrnod marrys them all 2gether!!!1 & while they were haveing a blast evry1 evan forgives  Garladel and evry1 is super super super happy and then Thrandulise, Alice, Gilmi, Mary starts playing this awsome song bcuz they were starting a band.  & then this funny lttle guy named Gollom runned on stage and starts rappin a lttle:

Yes!  
It's so crazy right now!  
Most incredibly, it's ya girl, Bee,  
It's ya boy, young.  
  


And then Smeegol starts to sing:

You ready?  
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no  
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no  
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no  
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no  
  


Gullum:

  
Yea, history in the making,  
Part 2, it's so crazy right now  
  
Smeagal:

I look and stare so deep in your eyes,  
I touch on you more and more every time,  
When you leave I'm begging you not to go,  
Call your name two or three times in a row,  
Such a funny thing for me to try to explain,  
How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame.  
'Cuz I know I don't understand,  
Just how your love your doing no one else can.  
  
Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's  
Got me looking so crazy right now (in love)  
Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch  
Got me looking so crazy right now (your touch)  
Got me hoping you'll page me right now, your kiss   
Got me hoping you'll save me right now   
Looking so crazy in love's,  
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love.  
  
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no  
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no  
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no  
Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no  
  
When I talk to my friends so quietly,  
Who he think he is? Look at what you did to me,  
Tennis shoes, don't even need to buy a new dress,  
If you ain't there ain't nobody else to impress,  
The way that you know what I thought I knew,  
It's the beat my heart skips when I'm with you,  
But I still don't understand,  
Just how the love your doing no one else can.  
  
Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's  
Got me looking so crazy right now (oh crazy)  
Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch (you're in love)  
Got me looking so crazy right now (love!)  
Got me hoping you'll page me right now, your kiss (hey!)  
Got me hoping you'll save me right now   
Looking so crazy in love's, (hey)  
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love.  
  
I'm Looking so crazy in love's,  
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love.  
  
Then Golum is back & he raps:

Check it, let's go  
Young Hov y'all know when the flow is loco,  
Young B and the R-O-C, uh oh, (oh)  
Ol' G, big homie, the one and only,  
Stick bony, but the pocket is fat like Tony, Soprano, (oh no)  
The ROC handle like Van Axel,  
I shake phoneys man, You can't get next to,  
The genuine article I go I do not sing though,  
I sling though, If anything I bling yo,  
  
a star like Ringo, roll like ??  
Crazy bring ya whole set,  
Jay Z in the range, crazy and deranged,  
They can't figure them out they like hey is he insane, (oh no)  
Yes sir I'm cut from a different cloth,  
My texture is the best fur, of chinchilla.  
(Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no)  
Been dealing with chain smokers,  
But how you think I got the name Hova?  
(Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no)  
I been realer the game's over,  
(Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no)  
Fall back young, ever since the label changed over  
(Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no)  
to platinum the game's been wrap, One!  
  
So finaly Smeegal comes to finish the awsome song up:

Got me looking, so crazy, my baby  
I'm not myself, lately I'm foolish, I don't do this,  
I've been playing myself, baby I don't care  
'Cuz your love's got the best of me,  
And baby you're making a fool of me,  
You got me sprung and I don't care who sees,  
'Cuz baby you got me, you got me, so crazy baby  
HEY!  
  
Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's (oh love)  
Got me looking so crazy right now (lookin' crazy)  
Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch  
Got me looking so crazy right now   
Got me hoping you'll page me right now, your kiss (baby)  
Got me hoping you'll save me right now (baby)  
Looking so crazy in love's, (whoa!)  
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love. (whoa!)  
  
Got me looking so crazy right now, your love's  
Got me looking so crazy right now (your love)  
Got me looking so crazy right now, your touch  
Got me looking so crazy right now (your touch)  
Got me hoping you'll page me right now, your kiss   
Got me hoping you'll save me right now   
Looking so crazy in love's,  
Got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love. 

            & then the party keeps going on and on and on and evry1 lives happyly forevar after!

Then end!!!1

wow!!!!!!!!!!1  that is 1 long chapy!  My brian relly relly relly hurts now!!!1  but im glad that u luvit sooo sooo much!!! r&r plz!!!!!!1  show ur lurve!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


End file.
